Pajama Bread

This is a true story. The other evening after work, I put my pajamas on and went into the backyard to pick blackberries. Encouraged by the yield on the backyard bush, I went around to the front yard to pluck juicy ripe berries from the prickly bush on the parking strip. Was I giving my neighbors a little demonstration? Yes. Did I care? No. Well, not until it started raining and I realized I was locked out of my house. What happened was this: while I was in the backyard, *new* housemate #2 came home after a long day in his research laboratory, let himself into the house and locked the door behind him, went upstairs and lost himself in some video game or other (I imagine, generously). A half an hour later, when I wanted back inside, the door would not budge. I knocked on the door: nothing. Then I alternated between pounding on the door and ringing the doorbell for about 45 minutes to no avail. Then I got creative. I tried loosening all the screens on the open ground floor windows: nothing. I tried the basement door: locked, as it should be. Finally I tried the kitchen door: victory! Somewhat chagrined, I let myself in, collected myself, and went upstairs to confront my blissfully unaware housemate. He swore he had no idea I was pounding on the front door. And that, dear readers, is why I did not share ANY of the yield of my blackberry picking labors with him.

Behold, a very healthy yet tasty blackberry banana bread: a recipe I have slaved over for a few years now, and finally, I believe, perfected. The blackberries may be substituted for fresh raspberries or blueberries.

1 1/2 cups white flour
1/2 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3 large overripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup all-natural applesauce
1/3 cup skim milk
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup fresh blackberries

Mix dry ingredients in large bowl (flours through salt).
Mix liquid ingredients in smaller bowl (bananas through vanilla).
Introduce dry ingredients to liquid using that method called "folding" (i.e. do not over mix; use a rubber spatula and lots of compassion).
Now, if you are using ripe, fresh berries, comes the tricky part. Blueberries are sometimes more hearty and can just be folded into the final batter very gently. Raspberries and blackberries are a little more delicate. For this batch, I poured about 1/3 of the batter into the bottom of a "Pammed" bread pan. Then I sprinkled half of the berries on top. Then I poured another 1/3 of the batter into the pan, and sprinkled another half of the berries on top. Then I poured the final 1/3 of the batter into the pan, at which point, I looked at my bowl of freshly picked pajamas-in-a-rainfall-locked-out-of-house blackberries and thought, screw this, I'm loading this bread up with my crop. So I dumped the final extra berries on top, and put the whole thing in a 350-degree oven for an hour. When the bread passed the toothpick test, I pulled it out to cool 10 minutes, and overturned the loaf onto the wire rack with the help of the Russian Redneck who came over with a bottle of wine just in time (he has that sixth sense for determining when is the most fruitful time to visit me).

The beauty of this bread is that if you slice it into 8 equal parts, you get 8 equal breakfasts of 250 calories with 1 gram of fat and 5 grams of protein (and yes, lots of carbs, but nobody's perfect, you know?). I think I'll sport PJs around the neighborhood more often, just for kicks.